marththebland:

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

just-late-roman-republic-things:

There will always be someone who judges you. You cannot prevent this. But by being openly yourself, weirdness and silly hobbies and all, you give those who would love you the chance to see you, too. And you might also inspire someone else to be less ashamed of who they are.

funnytwittertweets:

chronicowboy:

chronicowboy:

baby snoopy this, baby clifford that, baby gromit blah blah blah. what about baby kermit???????

straprat:

Oh my fucking god I forgot to stay silly

astronoglow:

rthko:

Foucault wake the fuck up I need you to write about how “therapy speak,” “social justice speak,” and “HR speak” are all fusing into one thing

daydreamsandloveletters:

i leave my mark wherever i go (loose strands of hair)

theriverbeyond:

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

lynchiangf:

once upon a time there was a woman who wanted to be drinking a little beverage but she didn’t buy one and then she died. the end

tenmartha:

rose tyler and her daddy issues were STRESSED when the sexy emotionally unavailable dilf she pulled turned into a gay little twink

discoursedrome:

nothing is worse than software that tells people when I’m online or when I read their message or when I’m typing something. I always want to be as unknowable in my silence as god

murraysiskind:

I’m like if an eccentric genius was fucking stupid

sonofthedunes:

“kill them with kindness” WRONG. force kick

Originally posted by itstherocketeer